I have been overfilled with pure joy the past many days as I have watched this amazing caterpillar turn into a butterfly. As Mina has changed, learned, and grown so much recently and is doing things so much quicker than I had ever imgained. I look at her with so much excitment and adoration with amazement of the little gift the Lord blessed us with and can't help but think about her birth mother and all the joy she's missing.
As Mina continues to say mama over and over numerous times a day and look up at me with arms stretched high with the biggest grin on her face.... as she bobs her head and dances anytime she hears music, as she lays her head into my chest and snuggles.... as she pats my back while I'm loving on her and she blows me many many kisses I think of all the things her mother is missing out on and my heart hurts for her. There is so much love and happiness Mina has brought into our lives and our home and although I am so grateful it saddens me to think of all her family is missing by her not being a part of their life.
I often times wonder what her mother's thoughts are; how frequently does she think of her; how much does she miss her; does she wonder where she is or if she is even still alive??? Mina lived with her parents and siblings till she was 6 months old. They had bonded with her, loved her and cared for her.... and then because of her diagnosis they gave her away. My mind wonders if they gave her away because of fear of the unknown, because of society, did they give her away in hopes that she would be adopted and have a better chance?? I suppose my mind will always wonder about her feelings and thoughts.
My hope is that one day maybe our precious girl can meet her biological family. That they can see her and see how much she's changed and know how blessed our family has been because of her.
I am now 24 weeks along in my pregnancy and having met with my midwife yesterday was asked if I had any of the prenatal testings- amniocentesis done. Once again I said no and I'm not interested in ever having any type of testing regarding that matter done. At least this time around my no was 100% accepted and not argued as opposed to my pregnancy with Myla were the doctor pushed and pushed to still receive a big N-O. For me I just don't see the point in it. No matter what the case maybe, what my child maybe born with or what could possibly be wrong with our baby we will always love her and accept her whole-heartedly. We will be thankful for the blessing and gift that God chose to give us and we will cherish her & know that God ALWAYS has a plan and purpose for each child that He creates!
I absolutely love my precious girls and think that we are so blessed to soon have 3 little angels that God has entrusted us with. There is no greater gift in the world and I can not thank Him enough for the blessings!!
3 comments:
So good to hear from you. I'm glad things are going well. I cannot even imagine giving your child away after bonding with her. I would be beside myself with worry. No matter what the circumstances were, she probably DOES think about her everyday. How could you not?
I'm so glad that Mina is exactly where she is supposed to be. I can't wait to see updated pictures. :)
What a sweet glimpse into your heart. Children are a gift from God that is for sure. Feel free to bring your little ones by the farm to see the animals if you ever want to.
I said NO to testing too, Children are a blessing from God, my midwife was also supportive. I wonder if it's a Dr. thing...?
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